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We are born with two ears and one mouth. There may be a sound reason for that. It is hardly a conversation when you are talking to someone and they don’t let you get a word in edge-wise.

Listening is about showing the other person or persons respect. You value their opinion enough to listen to what they have to say. When you are constantly cutting someone off in the middle of a conversation you are really telling them they are not worth listening to.

This can be a real problem at any facility. Whether you are an executive, staff member, clinician, or groundskeeper, you have to be able to communicate with one another in order to get the job done.

Everyone feels like there isn’t enough time in the day so “keep it short and sweet when you are talking to me”. There may be times during the day where short and sweet is the best answer, but if you portray yourself like that all the time, then be prepared to be cut out of the daily communication loop.

The best information in any organization travels by word of mouth. The best ideas to boost productivity are hashed out in conversation before they are reduced to a memo. The same is true when the company plan isn’t executing as intended – the team gets together to discuss the problem and find a solution. However, if one person attempts to dominate the conversation it is the equivalent of driving into a sinkhole and then creativity grinds to a halt and only the dinner bell can rescue you. Many good ideas come from being a good listener. So be a Contributor and not a Dominator the next time you are participating in a conversation.

The holidays can cause a problem of overstimulation. Especially persons with dementia need help to be able to respond positively to the flood of activities; otherwise under or over stimulation can cause them to withdraw, decreasing their responsiveness – or to panic, increasing their unwanted agitated behaviors.

While living in a healthcare facility, Angelina had a mysterious visitor who came by like an angel every holiday. She always brought a bouquet of fresh red and white carnations. First, the guest would hold the flowers to Angelina’s nose so she could enjoy smelling them; then the guest would give the bouquet to Angelina placing it in her lap. Angelina sat in her wheelchair like a queen beaming smiles as the guest pushed her around the room. They stopped to give other residents, or staff members, a flower of their own, to smell and hold. This tradition brightened and soothed the long days at holiday time inside a care facility.

You can communicate your own holiday mood with less stress, and more managed care, and also feel more celestial like an angel. Here are some suggestions that will help you focus on one sense at a time, in order to stimulate the senses that are connected with a holiday activity:

Draw the person’s attention to the smell of fresh flowers. This can stimulate the person to put the flowers in water.

Draw the person’s attention to the smell of an orange by opening the skin. This can stimulate the person to hold the orange, peel the orange, and eat the orange with relish and remember the orange in his or her Christmas stocking.

Draw the person’s attention to the sight of a green tinsel string with a red jingle bell attached. Help them remember a holiday story, such as “Twas the Night Before Christmas” with the sound of reindeer on the roof.

Get the person’s attention by focusing on his/her needs and sitting beside him/her at the holiday dinner. Pick up their favorite food and invite the person to smell it. Have a small table top tree nearby. This can stimulate the person to hang a tree ornament on the tree.

Draw the attention to the movement of dancing bubbles as you blow them. This can stimulate the person to blow a bubble, laugh as they pop, reach out to catch a bubble, and clap together as they pop.

A holiday sing-along can over stimulate the person you care for. So start by getting their attention with a one-on-one heart-to-heart lullaby conversation. Echo the voice you hear singing to you. Act as a compass point – orient – redirect. Find something in common to point out like – we both are wearing red today.

This post is inspired by Carol Bowlby Sifton’s Navigating the Alzheimer’s Journey: A Compass for Caregiving (Baltimore, MD: Health Professions Press, Inc., 2004), 293-358.

More helpful activities can be found in As Long as You Sing, I’ll Dance: The bond not the burden – the blessing of reciprocal caregiving by Julia Soto Lebentritt. Available at www.Amazon.com and her website www.reciprocalcare.com

by Melanie L. Bowen

Nurses can play a vital role in the care of the chronically ill patients such as those dealing with diagnoses of congestive heart failure, renal disease or various types of cancer. Many times, the doctor is the first medical caregiver thought of in these situations. While the doctor plays a major role in diagnosing and prescribing of treatments and drugs, the nurse is the caregiver who is most often with the patient.

Some of the key roles for which nurses are responsible in these scenarios include hands-on treatment, psychological support for patients and families and advocating for the patient.

The nurse is most responsible for carrying out a doctor’s orders. While other support personnel such as pharmacists, respiratory therapists and physical therapists may be involved; the nurse spends the most time with the patient.

The nurse makes sure that the patient receives his medications on time, deals with any side effects from treatments, ensures that the patient receives the most nutritionally balanced meals possible and often arranges for him to make it to treatments on time. In addition, the family often has more interaction with the nurse than with any other healthcare personnel; the nurse is the face of the healthcare team.

The American Society of Registered Nurses reports in a study that approximately a quarter of cancer patients suffer from depression. In addition, other symptoms such as anxiety, grief and denial need to be addressed. The nurse is often the first person to notice these symptoms since the nurse has the most contact with the patient. Once these concerns are noted, the doctor can appropriately address them with medication, therapy or other beneficial treatment modalities.

Most importantly, the nurse is the patient’s advocate. Since the nurse understands chronic illness and the healthcare process, he can successfully advocate for appropriate treatments and medications in order to control the patient’s pain, psychological concerns, treatment side effects and more. A nurse has the ability as well as the responsibility to communicate the patient’s concerns with the doctor and other healthcare team members as appropriate.

A nurse plays key roles in the care of the chronically ill patient. Whether it is caring for the patient’s physical or psychological concerns or advocating for the patient’s needs, the nurse is always a key player on the patient’s team. The nurse’s importance to the patient’s overall wellbeing cannot be underestimated.

Find a medical staff be it in the hospital or at home who not only care for your wellbeing but knows how to help physically and emotionally. If there is a person who can help you on the road to recovery and make your process a little easier on your worry and concern, why not give it a shot? Be it recovering from breast, mesothelioma, colon cancer or leukemia find a nurse that will fight alongside you.

Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance Blog at http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog